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Kaplar and Gordon (2004) tackled this question of their study of romantic partner deception. In their investigation, individuals described lies that they had told their former romantic partners and rated the lies as altruistic or ‘egoist’ (e.g., the amount the lie benefitted the source of the message). The authors found that individuals reported their lies to get largely altruistic. Yet, if the research team coded their lie descriptions, the study identified a good ‘egoist’ motives. Essentially, then, we may rationalize our romantic partner deception as ‘selfless’ but, actually, there are many selfish motives present.

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